Theological texts as pulp sci-fi

*bing bong* Hello, I am the saintly skull in the Modern Relics logo. I have been tasked with posting this edition of the newsletter on Rohan’s behalf because he is on holiday and didn’t feel like taking his laptop with him. If these memes feel a week old to you it’s becasue this computer reliquary I’m inside is still using dial-up and it literally took that long to download all the jpegs. Nothing in this edition will keep you out of heaven, and I should know! Enjoy.

Theological texts as pulp sci-fi

Ben Menghini posted this thread ages ago but I just found it again. My favourite is Revelations of Divine Love “from the twisted mind of Julian of Norwich” but they’re honestly all so excellent. Click through below.

An AI designed a demon tattoo

This Danish “Church of Lucifer” account doesn’t have a public website, but seems to be a real thing that exists that people engage with in a non-shitpost way. Anyway, they claim that the first tattoo designed by an AI is actually a sigil tied to a demon they’ve been communing with for years. A horror movie pitch ready to go!

Tom’s Diner but make it chant

Let’s talk about Behemoth’s penis

This article is apparently about disability in the ancient world, but I can’t get past the incredible abstract, which claims the way the Behemoth is described in the Book of Job in the Bible implies it has “massive genitalia”. The author also uses the phrase “divine willy-waving contest”.

It is an entirely serious article in the Journal for the Study of the Old Testament and it’s almost enough to get me to pursue a career in academia.

Punching water into wine

I will never think about the wedding at Cana the same way again.

“How to defend yourself if your mom ever comes swinging at you with a sandal”

Watch these two videos in order

Internet religion

No Kirby

So do I, girl

In and out

This does the rounds once a year or so and for good reason. Thanks to Jono for reminding me of it!

No more posts!

Again, there’s no links section this week because of space issues. I’m accruing a good list of interesting reads though, so I’ll try to include that next week. Okay byeee!