VEGGIETALES BLOCKED ME

I write to you from a resort in far North Queensland with this distressing news: the official VeggieTales Twitter account blocked me for wishing Larry the Cucumber a happy Pride Month.

Honestly, I’m devastated. Any longtime reader of Modern Relics knows I have loved VeggieTales since I was a child, and have recently given lots of thought about how they got human hair like that

Here’s what happened. At the beginning of each month, the VeggieTales Twitter account wishes everyone born that month a happy birthday. This month, June, was fronted by Larry the cucumber dressed as Larry-Boy. I’ve written about him being queer-coded before, so I did what any respectful VeggieTales-loving, gay Christian would do: I wished him a happy Pride Month.

A parody VeggieTales account liked the tweet, and I tweeted pretending like the official account had responded positively (because you can’t tell what’s real on Twitter anymore and I’ve decided to lean in).

Then yesterday, I was checking the reaction to some of my wedding and honeymoon content, and noticed my quote tweet to Larry was broken… did they have another viral tweet meltdown? Did they suddenly go out of business?

No! The account blocked me! I can’t believe VeggieTales blocked me for a Pride Month tweet while I was on my gay honeymoon.

I’m begging Big Idea Entertainment, Universal Pictures, Phil Vischer, Semler, Relient K, anyone at all, to plead my case to the VeggieTales social media manager: Let the gays love the Christian vegetables too.

Please share my plight with anyone who might be able to help, or at lease sympathise with me.